“That’s it, wind it on, line up those overlapping squares,” said Dad, his giant leathery hands demonstrating the actions. “That’s focusing, so your pictures don’t come out blurry. Now, press the button, GENTLY, he encouraged. “And always have the strap round your neck so you can’t drop the camera,” The Minolta. “A year’s wages for some people,” said the Dad with a wink. (Make sure the strap is round your neck.)

The projector whirrs to our smiles or concentration. There’s Mum on skates. Or my brothers, lit by Hitchcock one sunny, stormy-skied day. There’s me, the baby, suckling at a milky bottle in my gigantic perambulator as Ian carefully chews a dandelion stem.
Time is stopped. We all live forever. Smile.

I’m ten!
“But why can’t I come?” I wailed.
“There’s only room for three and you’re too small to be of much help,” Dad explained, rolling his eyes invisibly. Since our Mum died, he had been short on patience.
“But I can’t stay here on my own”, I wailed. “I’m ten! What if you don’t come back?” I wanted to be in the van with my brothers, the big boys, up high, looking down on all the things I usually had to look up to, like pillar boxes.
“Stop grizzling”, said the Dad.

I wasn’t grizzling (grizzling is to crying as drizzling is to rain). And crying was not for small things like missing out on a van ride or being left alone in an empty house.
“Son, you’re on your own now,” is what I heard. I watched from where the garden gate should be as the borrowed van with its trail of blue exhaust smoke diminished at the road’s end. Head hung low, I walked slowly back to the doorstep and sat down as my Dad, my brothers and the assorted contents of our home turned the corner. They called it moving house, I called it leaving home.

Solitude
I never shed the feeling of being alone, homeless on the inside. Sometimes I called it solitude, other times it was loneliness. I was hurtled, free-falling into rage, later into alcohol or wandering blind in the fog of weed. I took a camera as companion. Together we made notes to debate and relate as we fell in love or watched children be born while houses and places came and went. Still, I grew disconnected and other. I found successes and failures found me as I scribed a big messy circle back to isolation. And then came sobriety.

The camera still hung around my neck like a talisman. It was my outsider’s passport. I could be anywhere, my face behind the lens, my purpose to be outside looking in.
Decades passed, therapists and self-help books scattering from my flailing, out-turned pockets until, little by little, I shed the drive to mend my flaws and instead made use of my separatist nature. At 54, I have settled into relationship, bought and rebuilt us an isolated derelict house on the marshes to make home. I am what I find myself to be. I keep taking pictures.

Born to isolate
When the lockdown came, I cackled inside. I was born to isolate! The company we run suddenly stopped making any demands on me though the wages still came. At first the days and nights lost their shape. I watched the sunrise from the wrong end of the day. I stopped shaving, slept in my clothes, feral and lawless with no-one to tell me what to do as nobody knew, not the elders nor the government. I felt ten again.

At 4am one March morning, I suddenly bought a Leica M online, enchanted by the heritage of mindful, spontaneous, intrinsically human photography. It arrived quickly and I cradled its dense, machined weight in my grown-up hands, bringing it to my eye and watching those familiar rectangles collide and divide through the bright-lined viewfinder.

STAY AT HOME, we were told. A new routine emerged. My partner would go to work, keeping the business running by herself. I was left with Flower, a 4-year-old Patterdale Terrier. We eyed one another warily.

“Let’s go for a walk,” I said. She wagged her stump of a tail, I put the camera strap around my neck, and we began.
Adventures
Every day of the lockdown we go out. The house is surrounded by empty marshland and quarry laid still. We find decaying buildings, rusting pylons, tiny flowers, moonscapes of scraped earth where the diggers have been.

After a week, I graduate to a bicycle, the new Leica tucked in my half-zipped top to save it from banging at the handlebars. We stop a lot, Flower sniffs and watches, gaining a sixth sense and making her way into every shot. She learns the meaning of ‘get the fuck out the picture!’
We share water when I stop for a cigarette, me swigging from the bottle as she laps from the bowl stowed in my saddlebag. She knows that despite the shout, I love her. Sometimes she sees things I might have missed and waits patiently for me to spot the puddle of light or the buried plough like a shipwreck in the grass.

We get fitter as she learns to race me, flying along the empty paths and farmyard concrete tracks. A new concentric circle of adventure grows as we venture further, over fences, down and up the ditches. The perimeter of our endeavours is set by boundaries we cannot cross without a lead.

This becomes our patch, outlined in red on an invisible map that keeps us safe from encountering people but free each day to have our eyes surprised and filled. We see the same subjects often though the light is ever changing. How is this day different? What does my eye fall upon today? The future has become nearer, this day, this hour, this 1/2000 sec. Here I am then, solitary and in isolation. Accompanied by a camera, a bicycle and a dog. This land is home. Everything and more that long lost 10-year-old boy could want.

Fieldworks
Fieldworks (@field.works) has become a small Instagram showcase on the theme of solitude and isolation—the nuances of being alone, set on the windswept marshes at the East Sussex and Kent border. It is perpetually curated by my eldest daughter, Maud, locked down 50 miles away along the same south eastern coast. The collaboration brings discipline and purpose to the practice—a demand to supply and an attentive audience of one who decides what to share and how. Thank you, Maud.


A note on Leica
It’s just an opinion but I have come to believe that Leica employs people who deliberately set out to enchant and entrance innocent photographers. I was happily using a very capable Nikon Z7 for work and after a run with the Fujifilm X100, I had settled on the Sony RX1R for travel and unexpected opportunities. I needed for nothing.

In February 2020 I made the mistake of looking into the Leica Q, watching the odd review on YouTube and so forth. And soon I was lured in by a very affordable Leica Q-P. This, it turned out, was a gateway camera. The M10-P followed in March, along with a weighty silver Summilux-M 50mm (f/1.4).
Before I knew it, I had added 35mm & 75mm Summicrons, and in the midst of lockdown (and the middle of the night), I found myself in the car park of a deserted service station on the M25 doing a deal on the holy grail of M lenses—the APO 50mm—truly a jewel to behold.
Soon after I got to wondering how the M lenses would be with an EVF. I bought the designated M accessory but the idea I could use these masterpiece lenses on the SL kept nagging at me. And obviously, if you have an SL, it would be plain rude not to try out Peter Karbe’s pride and joy—the SL lens, with autofocus! I bought and sold the monstrous 24-90mm zoom, although it is a spectacular piece of engineering, and have now settled with a prime (or four) for the SL2. (Did I mention that upgrade?) The tale does not end here but be warned. Leica is not your friend though the pictures will make you forgive them.
Cameras used for these pics:
- Leica Q typ 116 (fixed 28mm)
- Leica SL typ 601 (Vario-Elmarit-SL 24–90 f/2.8–4 ASPH, though we try to run a zoom-free household)
- Leica M10-P (35, 50 & 75mm Summicron – all f/2 & 50mm Summilux. (50mm is my true love)
Your writing is clearly from the heart, honest and powerful. Not many people have the skill or the confidence to say what they are authentically thinking and feeling. I was drawn in and completely engaged. Just brilliant.
On the Leica side of things I am a newcomer and was easily attracted to the history, integrity, engineering and the special image quality of Leica. Starting with the SL2 and the 35 and 75 SL’s. As much as I want to love the manual focus M I really prefer the auto focus and shooting experience of the SL2.
For my everyday carry, travel and street image making I use a GR3. The images are very nice and it’s pretty amazing for such a small camera but for me the user experience isn’t grabbing me. Enter the Q2M. Haven’t pulled the trigger yet. I continue to resist. The question is for how long.
I’m afraid I’m a bit slow – This is such a great article Rod – both poignant and funny – excellent!
Thank YOu
Hey Kevin, there is nothing better. You are never alone with a camera, a dog or a smartphone!
Best
Roderick
I thought your article was timely given the current lockdown restrictions in the UK. Reading it I reflected on how solitude and isolation don’t have to equate to loneliness – particularly if you have a dog with you! You inspired me to take my little X1 out into the fields that Saturday and as always having a camera changed the nature of a walk. Even if on the Sunday all I had to capture a wood full of hoar frost was my iPhone. So a thank you from me.
Excellent article and images, but that wonderful collection of Leica’s made my eyes water and my wallet cry. 🤣
Hey Dave, thanks for that! I have similar symptoms!
Best
Roderick
Tremendous images and writing and a scary story about Leica addiction. I had a very brief dalliance with a borrowed M8 a few years ago, but now am teetering on the edge of buying a Q2 ( I like 28m in my GR ). Having read this and seen that a Q leads to an M10P, Sl, SL2, 50APO in a short space of time!!! Best I switch this off now…
Now worried that once you have had A Q, then an ‘M’ is inevitable or perhaps people do go from an M to a Q?
Hi Simon, BUY IT!
Seriously, the Q range has a lot going for it. I’ve not ‘upgraded’ to the Q2 because my current Q-P is too much of a friend and lacks nothing. I did however succumb to the Q2 Monochrom which feels like a fine instrument in use. The M still leave me ambivalent – I love and hate it. I probably won’t buy another M – I think the M10 is as good as it will get in its pure form and I have to admit, i like AF! Time will tell. Don’t be afraid – a Q will reawaken your love of photography.
Best
Roderick
I really enjoyed your article and it felt like I was reading a riveting autobiography. I find a haunting feeling of isolation in many of your images – the emotion is well captured. You certainly cannot go wrong in with ending up with your Leica equipment. Looking forward to more articles!
Hello Brian, so glad it spoke to you. More bio (of sorts) coming soon! I often call our little house ‘The Hermitage’ and take comfort that photography is a perfect occupation for those of us who know ourselves to be somewhat on the outside looking in . . .
More Leica content coming soon.
Best
Roderick
Your photographic Then and Now.
Considered, concise, constructed writing.
Enjoyed it. Thank you.
Hello Wayne, yes I try to be thoroughly attentive with words and pictures to form an irresisitible pincer attack on left and right brain simultaneously!
Best
Roderick
I really enjoyed this article, words and photos. For any reader who has not done so I would say follow the reference to Roderick’s website. Then you will see his images almost full-screen (and hopefully you have a nice big stationary screen), and they are even better than here!
Hello John, thanks for the plug. Hoping to add some fresh content to my own site during this long old lockdown.
Best
Roderick
Great article, Roderick and the photos really capture your locality and Flower, of course. My first article for Macfilos was about my father’s camera and it was the slippery slope from there on. You seem to like getting new cameras and lenses, but if you go near the vintage stuff it will be a hopeless addiction. I look forward to seeing more articles from you.
William
Hey William, thanks for that. I feel reasonably safe from the vintage look, I have one foot distinctly in the contemporary state of play – for example, I love the Leica SL lenses! I spent enough time with film cameras to not hanker after that look in digital . . . I hope!
Best
Roderick
An interesting thought provoking article, well illustrated. Look forward to more.
Hello Roichard, thanks for the encouragement. Working on more content right now.
Best
Roderick
A truly wonderful writing and amazing photos.
Looking forward to future articles
Thanks for sharing
Jean
Hello Jean, thanks for that, watch this space!
Best
Roderick
What a story teller – both with words and pictures – thank you!
Hey Andrew, thanks for that!
Best
Roderick
Engaging? Beguiling? Entrancing? Difficult to find the right word but won’t try, will just look forward to reading the full one thousand and one adventures of the dog, the bicycle and the leica – oh, and of course the owner of all three.
Hello Jo, maybe one day! Thanks for your kind words.
Best
Roderick
Simply superb
Both images and writing
Hey Steve, thanks so much!
Best
Roderick
What a journey. Here you have the makings of a captivating novel, for photographers. Well done.
I have never seen a Patterdale terrier before. Flower must be missing her fell-walking.
Hello David, funnily enough I have lots of bits for a captivating novel but a lot of resistance to assembling them all! Flower is now a fully fledged marsg dog and is pretty much unaware of her heritage, despite a visit to Ptterdale for her benefit!
Best
Roderick
Great read, great pics, great writing,Another reason for following MACFILOS! Thank you sir, look forward to more from you and your cameras.
Hi John, thanks for that. Watch this space.
Best
Roderick