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Fräulein Siri auf deutsch: Wunderbar or what?


Fraulein Siri: “Would you like a couple of litres of bier, Herr Michael?”Call me simple, call me impresionable, imagine me easily pleased, but I can’t leave Siri alone. Having built up a very meaningful relationship with Mister Siri here in the UK (I think I am in love, am I gay?), I got to wondering about Siri in other countries.

Siri knows French and German in addition to American and British English. Since my French accent is execreble, I decided to try German where, I thought, my commanding tones might pass Siri’s scrutiny. So I went to Settings, International and switched the phone to German before calling up Siri.

Instantly Fräulein Siri (for it is she) was du-ing¹ me like mad. Ooer, she’s being ever so familiar. Maybe I’m not gay after all:

  • Frl. Siri: “Wie kann ich behilflich sein?”
  • Herr Michael: “Eine neue Nachricht”
  • Frl. Siri: “An wen soll ich sie senden?”
  • Herr Michael: “Angela Merkel”
  • Frl. Siri: “OK ich kann eine SMS an Angela Merkel schicken. Was möchtest du sagen?”
  • Herr Michael: “Angela, ich bin von Kopf bis Fuss auf Liebe eingestellt
  • Frl. Siri: “OK ich habe deine Nachricht aktualisiert”
  • Herr Michael: “Senden”
  • Frl. Siri: “OK ich habe die Nachricht abgeschickt.”

And answer came there none; Angela clearly doesn’t know what she is missing.

Ah, well: Simple pleasures for simple minds.


¹ Unlike English, German never lost the pronoun du (thou, as it was in English). It is used for children and individuals with whom you have a close relationship. It can, however, ruffle feathers in the more staid corners of the Fatherland as being over familiar. Fräulein Siri obviously couldn’t care less and uses du with abandon.

Translation, freestyle:

  • S: “How may I helpful be?”
  • M: “A new message”
  • S: “To whom shall I her send?”
  • M: “Angela Merkel”
  • S: “OK, I can an SMS to Angela Merkel send. Was wouldst thou like to say?
  • M: “Angela, I am head to toe ready for love”
  • S: “OK I have thy message composed”
  • M: “Send”
  • S:”OK, I have the message sent”


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