The Apocalypse is nigh. Britain is on the verge of annihilation. No, it’s nothing to do with politics, Brexit, Covid or the war in Ukraine. All these thorny issues have been pushed off the front pages and the airwaves this week because of a rise in temperature.
The mercury in London is likely to touch 40 degrees today or tomorrow. Everyone, including the Government, is panicking: “How could we be so ill-prepared for such a catastrophe.” Schools are closing, train schedules are curtailed, and citizens are being advised to stay indoors and hose themselves down with icy water every hour.
Frustrated
Even my favourite haunt, the Brooklands Museum, has been infected by the hysteria. On Friday, I received a rather cataclysmic message advising me that the museum would be closed in view of the expected 39-degree heat on Monday.
I penned a terse reply, beginning with the word “ridiculous”, and received a kind response:
“We at the museum appreciate that you are frustrated with our decision to close on Monday 18th of July.
“During the current extreme hot weather it is important to us that we protect Visitors, Staff and especially our Volunteers who steward our exhibits. It is also important to us that we reduce any risk to the exhibits themselves.”
Hell’s bells, if I may be permitted a profanity, but what is happening to the world? We are now officially classed as small children, unable to make sensible decisions for ourselves. We must be told what to do and what not to do at every turn. We are now incapable of thinking for ourselves and must be advised to avoid the risk of infection, accident or immolation at official behest.
Mild climate
You would think we lived in the middle of the Sahara desert instead of on a small northern island off the coast of continental Europe. The fact is that we enjoy a very mild climate, not too hot, not too cold. The only downside is that the weather changes from minute to minute and isn’t at all reliable. And the rainfall is randomly scattered around the calendar instead of being concentrated in certain months and seasons as in some countries. But, on balance, we wouldn’t change it. Apart from anything else, we wouldn’t have much to talk about if the weather stayed the same for months on end.
Despite the current temperatures, there is no great need for air conditioning in this country. Humidity is relatively low, and we seldom miss air conditioning except on the (very) odd sultry night when we think it might be a good idea. Moreover, we can leave the bedroom windows open without importing swarms of carnivorous beasties. We have it good, really.
Panic
But we do tend to panic at the slightest strong wind, an unusually high or low temperature. Everything is regarded as a potential disaster, threatening to wipe out the population at a stroke. But it never does. We know we’ll be back to normal by Wednesday.
We’d have to worry far more if we lived in a country with real climate emergencies, such as Australia. The countryside is deep in flood water if the Bush isn’t burning. Here, nothing much happens out of the ordinary.
Yet today, with the mercury touching 40, mass hysteria has broken out. We’ll be dropping like flies before the day is out. In mitigation, it is probably precisely because our weather is so mild and unexciting that any extremes are regarded as ruinous.
Isn’t it about time, though, that governments started treating us like the rational human beings we are? We can tell when it’s hot. In my life, I’ve developed an uncanny knack for knowing when it’s hot or cold. I can manage quite well without advice from governments, local authorities or museums.
Most of us know what to do about it. We drink water, try to stay in the shade, and take things a bit easier.
In the immortal words of Corporal Jones in the 50-year-old television serial Dad’s Army: “Don’t panic, don’t panic.”
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The ground floor of the Victorian house in which I live kept remarkably cool. With the blinds down and curtains drawn, I didn’t even need to loosen my tie.
Stiff upper lip and tightened tie. That’s the stuff! If I’d had a dog I would undoubtedly have taken it for walkies at noon.
If we Brits can’t teach the rest of the world about stoicism in the face of extreme temperatures then who can? After all weren’t we responsible for kicking off global warming anyway with our Industrial Revolution. We should forget about all this mullarkey until it happens. I’ve explained to my grandsons that they and their children may experience a bit of discomfort in future years but we all agree it’s no reason to stop running the Daimler.
Just don’t criticise Captain Mainwaring whatever you do!
Totally agree. When I was a schoolboy (1960’s) we thought 18 digress was a heatwave. No one complains when they go on holiday to the high 30″s so I agree we should get on with it or is it any excuse these days to avoid work? The only issue in England is when it gets humid, but again it is manageable.
Agree. When I said in the article that we don’t get much humidity I was thinking in relative terms. Here in London it can occasionally get uncomfortably humid. But it is nothing compared with many cities in the world – including Washington DC which can be unbearable. I suppose we just notice it more when it happens because domestic air conditioning is very rare.
But all this nonsense is out of hand. As you say, people go on holiday to enjoy 38 degrees. When it happens here it’s a cause for hang wringing and thoughts of apocalypse. Crazy.
Today is the hottest ever recorded in London. I just saw 42 deg on my car thermometer as I drove back from shopping. Officially it is just over 40 but still climbing at 1.30pm.
I don’t mind the heat my homegrown tomatoes do as the flowers dry on their stem. I’m lucky I can go to the beach every day
Paranoia can annoy ya.. ( According to Neil Innes ).
Mike, Macfilos readers are depending on you to give us sound advice on how to store our Leicas to avoid melting. Is it Ok to put them in the fridge next to the milk or should they be in the salad crisper compartment at the bottom?
If it gets any hotter maybe Leica will treat us to a special 40 degrees “Claude Monet” summer edition complete with straw hat. Never mind the fact that he used a paint brush instead of a camera!
Seriously though, hasn’t The Brooklands Museum heard about Mad Dogs and Englishmen and what they do?
I never once thought of the cameras! Perhaps they should have gone in the fridge…
Knitting sun makes a a change from knitting wind, Mike. However, you will have noticed in your lifetime that media abhor a vacuum and with the ever shortening news cycles and audience attention spans there always has to be something new to report. So, if it is the sun this week, it will be something else next week. We have just had our hottest day in Dublin since 1887, so that alone is worth commenting on. It is nothing compared to the 54 C – 129F which I experienced when I was in Doha. Nevertheless, if temperatures are at their highest for 135 years then it is not likely that anyone still living has experienced them here. As for elsewhere, in most cases they are ready for that, with marble floors, window-shades and, of course, air conditioning. You would hardly have switched off the AC in your car on a day like this.
I didn’t detect any Cpl. Jones type panic here in Dublin today. Most people were enjoying themselves and were taking the responsible precautions recommended by responsible parties. On the issue of climate change I follow the science, but there can often be two handed scientists like the two handed economists, ‘on the one hand and on the other hand’ etc
Whatever you do, don’t panic, but on the other hand……..
William
The shortening cycles are creating a mimetic crisis in every other week of the media – and I agree this is getting worse William.
My view of the media is they often misinform, and mislead the masses – and thus create hysteria. I am sadly sworn to never talk about the numerous misleading articles I know of. To counter this I tend to not read much news now, instead I go for a run or walk, and avoid social media – trust me its both liberating and protects ones mental health.
I agree completely Mike. I am sick and tired of the weather forecasters and press forecasting death and destruction on a regular basis. Sadly people with underlying health conditions and the very vulnerable may become sick and even die if they are unable to protect themselves or move to a cooler place. It’s up to us to help them.
However for the vast majority of healthy people it should make no real difference at all. In Qatar on the sand dunes the car engine hit the red zone and the outside temperature on the car thermometer was 50C. That slightly perturbed me but as I had good boots (never wear flip flops out there – you’ll only do it once and if you do take burn cream and bandages
) – a hat, water and company it became something to easily deal with by stopping, letting the engine cool and driving slowly. We obviously survived – as did the car.
If as predicted this becomes the new normal we’d better get used to it or we’ll all end up in the psychiatric ward.
What annoys me more than anything is the reaction of organisations such as Brooklands. Closing the museum for (as it turns out) two days doesn’t particularly inconvenience me. But it’s the principle of the matter, the assumption that they cannot function if the temperature rises a few degrees. And their comment about “protecting the exhibits” is pure nonsense. Almost all the exhibits are under cover and the ones outside, mainly aeroplanes including Concorde, have suffered far bigger temperature extremes when in service than they are ever likely to encounter in Weybridge. The country is going mad, and there are enough gullible people in authority to encourage the press in their over-reaction on a wide range of issues.
Here in Rome, Italy, it is exactly the same except that our temperatures are at least a couple of Celsius higher. In Sicily it is exactly the same, except that their temperatures are at least five Celsius higher. The global warming is worrysome, but for reasons different than the ability of humans to survive 40°C during a summer day.
Hey, I went on a photowalk in 47C. The Leica took it in its stride.
Quite. Everything is relative. And two days at near 40 (yesterday at Macfilos Towers was a maximum of 38, not as forecast) is something to accept and move on. We know it will be back to 25 on Wednesday. Live manages to continue at 40-plus, including in parts of India.
The fact is as much we’re monitored, as much we might behave as being monitored. A kind of spiral in which we need to be in control that we’re under control. I hope the end of the world to be more desperately free.
Hi Mike, you might need to swap out your Bowler or Trilby for a nice wide-brimmed Panama hat to keep you shaded on these hot sunny days, should you risk life and limb venturing out from Macfilos Towers…
I did just venture out and it is indeed hot — 36 degrees at Macfilos Towers, quite a way off the scare temperature. It reminds me of walking in Greece during the summer. Of course, most people have a siesta there. But I just pinched myself and can confirm I am still alive. Now where’s the nearest hosepipe?
Watching Tour de France and they talking about tarmac melting, thn FR24 showing fires Portugal and Spain, and France, makes you wonder is this the new Norm.
Britain (and presumably the world) has been getting warmer throughout my lifetime and, I believe, for a hundred years before that. Back in the 16th and 17th centuries we had a mini ice age when the Thames would regularly freeze over and fairs were held on the ice. All that has changed. Climates have been changing for centuries and we are now clearly in a rising temperature phase. While this is a big danger for traditionally hot climates, it’s hardly a disaster for Europe and Britain. We’ll learn to cope, just as we do when we spend a month in Athens, for instance.