Best friends are difficult to come by. My seven-year-old son, Kipling, met his best friend, Christian, in the first few days of Junior Kindergarten. They’ve been inseparable ever since and epitomise the importance of friendship.
Their bond wasn’t forged over sports or a shared passion for a specific hobby. It was built on love for one thing: laughing. Their laughing is constant and can occur at the most inopportune times, a fact supported by the teachers at Old North Elementary.
Documenting their friendship
I got into photography not long after Kip and Christian became friends, and I’ve been fortunate to capture their burgeoning alliance on film. Indeed, every morning with my Leica or Rolleiflex cameras, I walk my son to school, and we wait patiently for Christian to appear. I know he’s getting close when I hear the yelling start: “Kipling! Are you there? Kipling! Do you have your snowpants? Kipling! Wait until you see my new watch. Kipling…”
I always stay behind a few minutes after Christian’s arrival to take some pictures. Christian is a photographer’s dream as he likes to dress, in his words, “fancy”. Every day, he has on a different outfit with a matching hat and tie.
Some of Christian’s fashion sense has rubbed off on Kip, meaning my black and white photos of the two of them often look like they were taken outside a gentlemen’s club in 1950s New York. In fact, many of my favourite photos are of them outside the school or in the neighbouring playground.
The importance of friendship
Looking at those pictures reminds me of the importance of friendship and my own childhood best friend, a red-headed boy called Jordie. We got into more trouble together than I care to admit. I slowly lost touch with Jordie when I moved away from my hometown for university. He, too, eventually moved away — to become a river-rafting guide in Banff, Alberta. But I don’t know if he is still doing that; the Google trail runs dry after about 2015.
I’m embarrassed to admit that today, at the age of 43, I have no close friends. I have a wife and son whom I love as well as dear family members and in-laws. But my days of having a best friend are behind me.
It wasn’t always this way. Until my early 30s, I was incredibly social and had numerous close mates. But Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best: “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” As I got older, I let work, ambition, and family life get in the way of my friendships. And now here I am, a lonely man with a Leica.
Getting along
When I watch Kip and his schoolmates, I’m amazed by how easily friendship comes to them. Yes, there’s the odd fight ending in tears. But minutes later they’ve forgotten the argument and are laughing again. When I listen to the kids chatting, there are no ideological debates, no disagreements about politics or world issues. It’s genuine joie de vivre.
I wish I could take a page from their book, but like it or not I’m trapped in the adult world — a world where relationships are too often based on allegiances and income brackets rather than strength of character.
On the walk home from school the other day, Kip asked me who my best friend was. I turned the question around and said, “Who do you think is my best friend?” He thought hard about it and then said, “Lucky or Mommy.” I said I do love that cat, but your mother takes the cake. He smiled and said, “Don’t tell Christian, but Mommy is my best friend as well.”
If you enjoyed this article and would like to see more of my photos, you can find me at Leica Fotografie International and Instagram.
My friend Tony Fidler and his astounding gear acquisition syndrome
The good companion meets some chums from 1929, including a Leica I and a vintage Swan fountain pen
Rolleiflex: 120 film = more megapixels?
Turn off the red light: my farewell to the darkroom
A cup of coffee works wonders in supporting Macfilos
Did you know that Macfilos is run by a dedicated team of volunteers? We rely on donations to help pay our running costs. And even the cost of a cup of coffee will do wonders for our energy levels.
This is a wonderful story and beautifully told. As Jon W says, in the pre internet, pre social media world it was very easy to lose touch with people. These days you mostly have a choice.
Thanks for the kind comment, Jon
I love this simple story. I am 77 years old and had a strange, but pleasant experience last week. Like you, I had a best friend growing up until I went off to college. As both of us grew apart due to what you described in your story, we had not been in touch for over fifty years. Last week I received a call from my old friend’s wife asking if I would mind calling David. She told me that she thought her husband was having periods of the beginning of dementia and was asking about me all of the time. She thought it would help him if I would call him…….so, I did.
We had an hour of wonderful conversation as if the years that separated us had never been there. We both talked to each other as we did every day years and years ago.
I think I will pick up the phone and call my friend David again.
Jon, thank you sharing this beautiful anecdote. It truly gets to the heart of friendship
David, I love your story about the importance of friendship. How important it is to nurture friendships, though not all start in childhood.. They are so easily allowed to founder. You are wise to embrace and document your son’s childhood friendship. And in film, though, the medium is unimportant.
I remember a friend of the family referring to the value of friendship. She said it is up to you to keep your friendships ‘green’. I have never forgotten her words. Sadly, so many of my old friends are now beyond reach. Yet they survive in my treasury of memories.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, David. Very apt words: indeed, it is up to us to keep our friendships “green”.
Wonderful how you’ve woven your thoughts on friendship while being a witness to theirs. Cherish the moments!
Many thanks, Terry
Two fortunate young boys. Thank you David for documenting and sharing this part of their journey as friends.
Thanks, Stephen!