Home Tech Apple Foul-speakered iPhone abuses Tesco teen

Foul-speakered iPhone abuses Tesco teen


A curious twelve year old pressed the home button of a demo iPhone in Tesco and got more than he bargained for. Little Charlie Le Quesne asked Siri how many people there were in the world. Back came the reply, “Shut the f*** up, you ugly t***, I cannot answer that”. Mother Kim was horrified: “We couldn’t believe the filth it came out with,” she complained to Tesco. The grocer has apparently sent the Tourette-afflicted instrument back to Apple for diagnosic tests.

I have to admire the ingenuity of an earlier customer who deftly changed the owner’s name on the phone. In the interests of New Year hilarity, I’ve altered the moniker on my phone to “You-miserable-old-bastard Evans”. This is in the best traditions of 17th century Puritan naming and is definitely more fitting than Temperence Evans. We can now look forward to exchanges such as:

“Siri, wake me at 8 am tomorrow. “You miserable old bastard, you already have an alarm for 8 am. I have turned it on for you. 

Full report, The Telegraph


  1. Wonderful! I love the idea of an abusive electronic device. So much more fun than the normal unctuous and servile way that our digital devices talk to us. Next thing will be our cars yelling at us with suitable Squadie invective to do up our $#@@@@ seat belts. The world will be a much better place once this happens. And why the good woman was so shocked by that thing in Tescos I cant imagine…. Both she and her son knew the meaning of all the words it spouted at her kid….


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