Today it has been disclosed that carrying an iPhone in your trouser pocket is likely to lead to erectile dysfunction.¹ So there. “Researchers” and “Scientists” have spoken. For the past ten years I’ve been shouting into the the phone at arm’s length for fear of a brain tumour. Now I need to fret over brewers’ droop: Is there no end to the angst? I am rapidly running out of pockets, arms and optimism. So where to keep the phone when not in use? The only solution is to have it trundle after you in a lead-lined carry-on-style coffin and communicate entirely by Bluetooth. Come to think of it, doesn’t Bluetooth cause bunions?
¹ Health warning: This story comes to you courtesy of the Daily Mail.