Procrastinating all the way to the trash can

Procrastination is the new buzzword in the booming getting-things-done industry. It has become the fourteenth unforgivable sin, to be avoided at all costs. Some think of it, wrongly as prevarication, but that implies a degree of active evasion in the process. Instead, procrastination is more a case of hapless incompetence.

Procrastination pending — this article in preparation using the Ulysses text editor (which goes to great pains to avoid your losing your work) on the 11in iPad Pro with Apple Smart Keyboard. The perfect rig for peropatetic authors
Procrastination pending — this article in preparation using the excellent Ulysses text editor (which goes to great pains to avoid your losing work work) on the 11in iPad Pro with Apple Smart Keyboard. The perfect rig for peripatetic authors

But whatever you do, don’t procrastinate and under no circumstances should you prevaricate unless stopped for speeding. Just go on out there and do it — or so multitudes of experts advice.

Despite good intentions, though, most of us procrastinate to an extent. Guilty, m’Lud, as far as Macfilos is charged; I have first-class honours in the art of putting things off. There is a vast list of ideas and half-baked stories cluttering up the editorial folders, all of which I intend one day to complete.

It isn’t easy being a procrastinator. Even worse to be a procrastinating hoarder.

Most dangerous

All is not lost, however. Help (or, in fact, potential disaster) could be at hand in the form of a tailor-made anti-procrastination application to help your next masterpiece on its way. To the trash can, more than likely.

The Most Dangerous Typing App takes the form of a “simple and attractive text editor” with a scorpion in its footnote. Apparently, if you stop typing before you’ve been clattering away for a full five minutes the text begins to fade. Then, unless you re-start immediately, your jottings sink without trace.

In some cases, you would agree, this can be A GOOD THING. It saves disk space in the absence of cogent thought. But it’s negative and doesn’t produce anything useful or solve any problems. It’s a stick, not a carrot.

Going, going, gone

I confess I considered this nihilistic bit of software for all of ten seconds. Could be just what I need? Perhaps not, because it would ensure that nothing gets completed, ever. Macfilos would be reduced to a headline, a byline and a SUBSCRIBE button. Peace at last.

Who thinks these things up? In this case, it is one Manuel Ebert (@maebert on Twitter). Me, I’m actually too lily-livered to try The Most Dangerous Typing App. You might have different views and could indeed wish to know more about this “powerful random story generator”. Here it is. Enjoy.

5 COMMENTS

  1. For the real professional grade procrastinators there’s an annual award that can be won called a “Round Tuit”. I’m grateful to my wife that she has awarded me one of these for nearly every year of our married life. I’ve received special citations for redundant hi-fi cable removal and storage. Car magazine storage and removal. The list of citations goes on so I now have a kitchen cabinet display of Round Tuits – or I will have once I’ve built the cabinet…

  2. I couldn’t decide whether to respond when I first read this or whether to wait a while, but after weighing the pros and cons I decided to post later.

    BTW. has anyone ever connected an old mechanical keyboard from, say and Olivetti typewriter to a text program? I used to love the feel of typing on my father’s old typewriter but with MS Word, Macs, PC’s etc you lose that sense of touch. No idea how you would do it, but I’m sure someone around here might be smart enough to figure it out.

    Cheers!

    • There are many retro keyboards you can plug into computers. Most have the traditional clunky typewriter feel. If you search for mechanical computer keyboards you should find some interesting articles and products.

    • I loved your indecisive procrastination about posting, Le Chef! As there will be many in the same boat, it may take some time for further comments to be posted. Good article Mike but no way I could risk the programme. I can think (dream) for hours to no good effect…….all my work would vanish without trace.

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